i've been doing my job for a long time now. and, almost everyday i shake my head and think to myself, "i can't make this stuff up". here's an excerpt of a conversation that i had yesterday.
Me: ok, here are your pills you need to take with your breakfast.
Confused Old Person: i need a banana.
Me: well, you ate all of your banana. would you like me to get you another banana, or do you want to take your pills with some pudding?
COP: just get me 2 bites of banana.
Me: alright, hang on. i'll be right back.
I go looking for an extra banana, don't find one, grab a pudding from the fridge, go back to the room.
Me: i couldn't find a banana, but i found some pudding.
I look at COP who is scraping the bottom of the butter cup with a spoon.
Me: what are you doing?
COP: huh?
Me: what are you doing with the butter?
COP: i'm getting the last bite.
Me: but, that's butter. are you eating the butter?
COP: huh?
Me: the butter. are you eating that?
COP: are you calling me fat? when you get my age, you don't worry about eating butter. ooh, is that pudding? i was saving that for later!